Mmbengwa 11-15

MMBENGWA

Chapter 11

They left me sitting in my room playing with my phone. Even though this was my first phone, I was familiar with using a smartphone because my best friend Langanani used to let me use hers. Langanani was the only friend I had. We’d been friends since Grade 1 and we passed Grade 12 together. After passing Grade 12 my friend went to study at the University of Johannesburg so I only managed to see her during school holidays which was really sad because I was already used to spending everyday with her. I had her cell phone numbers written on the calendar which was hung on the wall. I got up with a smile on my face and copied her cell phone numbers in my phone. Thilivhali mentioned that he bought me airtime so I decided to check the balance before calling my friend. I got the complete shock of my life when I found that the balance on my phone was R1100. I couldn’t believe it…I felt as though God was making a mistake somewhere…I mean why was life so good to me all of a sudden? Instead of calling Langanani, I called Thilivhali first. He didn’t even take long to pick up, it was as if he was just waiting for my call.

Thili:” my woman” my whole body erupted into this weird excitement that I couldn’t even understand…my toes curled in excitement. I didn’t know that there was so much power in the words ‘my woman’

Me:”how are you doing?” I was a little bit confused…I mean, the whole dating thing was new to me

Thili:”I am still as happy as you remember baby” damn! Why was I not warned? Why didn’t anyone warn me? Nobody even bothered to tell me that dating could feel this good. People are not fair out there I mean, not even one human being thought of telling me about the joy that comes with being in love? I mean I kept getting cramps all over my body…they were not painful…nahh they were good cramps…cramps that makes you want to laugh all alone.

Me:”I just checked the airtime balance on my phone…isn’t it too much?” he giggled and I couldn’t help but giggle with him

Thili:” not at all…call whoever you want to call and if you need more then let me know I will recharge you again okay?”

Me:” uhm ok”

Thili:”I am driving right now…can we talk later?”

Me:” ok cool” I hung up and called my friend Langanani right away.

Langanani’s phone rang a couple of times without an answer. I wondered what she was up to…I mean all I wanted was for her to pick up the phone because I couldn’t wait any longer. You know that moment when you have a hot gossip to share with your friend? Or even better…not a gossip but an update on your love life. I mean at this point I couldn’t even sit down…I was pacing in the room and couldn’t wait to give her an update on my suddenly interesting life. After a while she picked up and I smiled

Langi:” hello”

Me:” my friend”

Langi:” Mmbengwa?” I giggled…there was no need to announce myself…this girl knew my voice all too well

Me:” the one and only”

Langi:” whose phone are you using?” I laughed…like really laughed

Me:” mine” I was honestly happy. I had never been this happy before

Langi:” ow wow that’s great news….so you bought a phone? At least now I won’t have to call my mom to give you the phone every time I want to talk to you” she was laughing

Me:”and why not ask which phone I am using? I am using iphone 6” my friend screamed

Langi:” what did you say?” she was screaming so loud I had to get the phone off my ear for few seconds

Me:” as of that’s not enough…I am getting married friend”

Langi:” huh?” she was shocked…I think what was more shocking was that she didn’t even know that I had a boyfriend…matter of fact she knew that I had no boyfriend

Me:” yeah I met a guy who wants to marry me and he is the one who bought me the phone”

Langi” ow my God Mmbengwa what are you saying?” I laughed and stomped my feet on the ground because I didn’t even know what to do with myself…sharing this with Langanani felt that good

Me:” that’s the update my friend”

Langi:”but why did you not tell me about him?”

Me:” I met him two weeks ago at my sister’s wedding so I didn’t know that things would progress so fast”

langi:’ two weeks and you are already getting married? I wanted to point out that you are rushing things but that’s of less importance…all I want right now is for you to tell me about Balanganani’s reaction to the news…I know how she gets” i dissolved into a laugh and rolled on the floor in laughter

Me:” I think the best question would be for you to ask me where he proposed” I was now breathing hard and feeling tired of all the laughing

Me:” this is so good you might even won’t even know what to do with yourself…so get ready”

MMBENGWA

Chapter 12

I was not trying to act dumb because I was obviously not dumb. I had so many questions with regard to Thilivhali. I wondered why Thilivhali met me and didn’t even want to wait and get to know me but rather decided to marry me. I also asked myself if he didn’t have girlfriends somewhere. Even if he didn’t, weren’t there girls at his workplace maybe? I mean let’s face it….even though I looked a bit pretty and even though he had told me that before but my looks were not enough to confuse someone in such a way that he would decide to marry a girl he had just met….a girl who was uneducated and wasn’t even working.  I had all these questions but then I took a simple decision which I wasn’t going to take back. I wanted an out…I was not dumb so I knew that Thilivhali had his own reasons why he was doing this but I also had my own reasons and my reasons included getting out of this suffering. I needed some sense of security and to have a different taste of life so I decided to ignore everything else and go for what I wanted.

So the whole week went by with my mom being nice to me and that didn’t really sit well with me. I spent all my life with her hating me and for her to just change and be nice to me all of a sudden? It was a bit unsettling. So she told my uncles and my aunts that I am getting married and that the in-laws are coming on Saturday…Well, I was over the moon. Langanani and I agreed that she would come back home on the weekend to help me prepare for my in-laws. I know that my mom was around and that she was obviously going to help but I couldn’t trust her to help me whole heartedly so I needed someone whom I knew cared about me for real and Langanani was that person.

Friday night Thilivhali called me saying that he was at the gate. My heart started beating faster…what if he changed his mind and his family was no longer coming tomorrow? I immediately left my room and went outside…I bumped into my mom at the door and she gave me a questioning look.

Me:”Thilivhali is at the gate, I promise not to be long…I suspect it has something to do with tomorrow”

Mom:” okay” she said that and walked to the house

What in an actual f*** was going on around here? Why the sudden change of heart? I mean she was suddenly treating me like her daughter and that scared me. I shook my head and walked towards the gate. I was wearing my pyjamas and flip-flops. I found him leaning against his car…the car was parked few metres from the gate. He smiled and walked towards me as I approached and then gave me a hug….damn the things I was feeling...lemme keep quiet. I breathed in the scent of his perfume and didn’t want to let go…he smelt so good. After a while he broke the hug and looked at me

Thili:” how are you doing?”

Me:” uhm I’m good”

Thili:” you’re ready for tomorrow?” I nodded

Tgili:” This is serious Mmbengwa. You can’t go back on your word…in fact I won’t let you so if you don’t want to do it then tell me now because I won’t bring my family here and be humiliated afterwards” I looked at him and blinked

Me:” I don’t intend on changing my mind…and why are you thinking about that?”

Thili:” because I am nervous…you have no idea how bad I want this” he said that while rubbing his palms together. I narrowed my eyes and looked at him

Me:” Thilivhali what am I getting myself into?” he gave me a fake laugh. My guts told me that there was something off about him.

Thili:” nothing…I just need a wife and a family”

He was lying to me. There had to be a reason why he wanted a wife in such a hurry…he didn’t want to say anything in fear that I would leave. I didn’t buy the whole thing about him just wanting a family. I suspected that it was business related…maybe there were some business deals that required him to have a wife. I wished he could tell me the truth because there was nothing that was going to make me leave him…I needed this to work more than him.

Me:”I wish you could trust me because I am about to be your wife. I know that you are hiding something even though you don’t want to say it. I am trusting you with everything in my life. I don’t know you but I am about to give my life to you and be your wife. I really hope I won’t regret it” He looked at me and breathed loudly

Me:”you’ll have a wonderful night…I want to sleep early so that I can be ready for your family tomorrow” I said that and turned around and walked back to the house. The dumbest thing anyone can ever do is to trust a stranger…and I was prepared to do that with my eyes wide open

Chapter 13

The long awaited Saturday finally arrived and if I say I wasn’t excited then I will be lying to the nation. I was too happy and I didn’t even know what to do with myself. For the first time in my life I had no problem waking up. I had an alarm for 05:00 in the morning but I woke up before the alarm could go off. I felt as though the alarm was taking too long to wake me. I got out of bed and wore something comfortable and went outside the house and that’s when I ran into Langanani. We screamed, jumped and hugged in joy. After a while we broke the hug and looked at each other with smiles on our faces

Me:” Gauteng is doing you good friend…you look more beautiful every time you come back home”

Langi:”don’t even start with that crap please…i was always like this…I know how people are…in no time I will be the talk of the village with people insinuating that I am using some chemicals to clean and lighted my skin…nope…I am just beautiful baby” she said that while laughing and I couldn’t help but dissolve into a laugh too

Langi:”on a serious note…how are you feeling?” I looked at her with my hands on my hips

Me:” it’s a happiness like no other, I can’t even explain it”

Langi:”that’s what we need Mmbee”

Me:” I am a bit nervous as well”

Langi:” nahh you don’t have to be nervous, everything will go well” I was not worried about things not going well, no…the thing that worried me the most was that I knew nothing about Thilivhali

Me:”and thank you for going through all this trouble coming back home for me” she smiled

Langi:” you know the deal…lemme make a fire and we can start cooking…we will also use a stove right?”

Me:” yeah…we will use a stove for things like chicken nuggets” ow one thing that I forgot to mention. I was good at cooking. Even though my mom and my sister hated me…they knew that when it came to a good meal then I was their girl…they used to bow down to me when it comes to cooking…well, the same can’t be said for my sister. I even wondered how she was cooking at her place…I honestly felt sorry for the poor husband.

I left Langanani in the outside kitchen where she was busy sweeping before we could start cooking. I went to the house and took out all the meat we were going to cook. My mom went all out and gave me cash yesterday so that I could buy all the things that were going to be required and I did just that. My mom’s behaviour towards this whole thing left me wondering if she was just doing this because she knew that I was about to get married to a rich guy or if she was just being a good mom to me….maybe she changed her mind about how she used to look at me? If she had really changed her mind then I don’t know if I still had a space for her in my life….she was too late.

Langi and I started cooking. Langi was more like me when it comes to this department, she was just as good. I wanted to impress my in-laws, I wanted to impress them so much so that they would wish that they were taking me with them today. I was busy with the pots when Balanganani’s car drove through the gate.

Me:”what in a freakin hell is she doing here? I have had it with her and just popping up…I mean it’s her second time coming her after her wedding” Langanani smiled

Langi:”she is here to see for herself…I am sure she is in denial and doesn’t really believe that you are actually getting married so she wants to see for herself” I smiled while I walk to the inside kitchen to put the containers with pap neatly on the kitchen table. Balanganani walked through the gate

Bala:” hi”

Me:” hi”

Bala:” how is it going?” I looked at her with my hands on my hips

Me:” you don’t necessarily have to pretend like you care…you’ve never cared about anything happening in my life and I doubt that you’ll start now”

Bala:” but Mmbengwa what’s wrong with you? Why are you always so bitter? Why do you always assume the worst huh?” I honestly couldn’t hold myself so I laughed out loud…like a real laugh because this was really funny. She looked at me with nothing but annoyance and I didn’t care

Bala:” Mmbengwa grow up” I stopped laughing and looked at her. The f** she mean grow up? Who must grow the hell up? All of a sudden she wants me to grow up?

Me:” until you pay for every tear, every heartache and every embarrassment I endured because of you then I will grow up. But until then, I will say whatever I want when I want. Let’s not forget that you still owe me my varsity school fees. A day will come when I will make your life a living hell Bala…I intend on being your worst nightmare” I said that and pushed her out of the way and walked to the door. I wasn’t about to let these people ruin my day…now that I was getting married then everyone was tryna work things out with me? Where the hell were they when I needed their attention for real?

Chapter 14

I was walking out of the door when Balanganani grabbed my arm and jerked me around so that I can look at her. I stood still and didn’t move…I wondered why she had the guts to handle me like this. I prayed a short prayer asking God to give her the wisdom to remember that I was not her friend and that I could hurt her. She was pregnant and I didn’t want to do things I will regret but her handling me like this was just out of it

Me:”you really want me to get arrested huh?” I said in a calm voice

Bala:” Mmbengwa do you think that this hatred that you have towards me makes me happy?” she said that with her hand still on me. it’s a good thing that she was pregnant because even though I knew that I didn’t stand a chance in a fist fight with her…I was about to try…I mean where does she get the guts to even grab me like this?

Me:”how does your happiness have anything to do with your filthy hand that’s attached to my arm right now?”

Bala:” we are siblings Mmbengwa…don’t you get envious when you see other siblings getting along? I won’t lie to you…I really envy it and since we are no longer kids I would like for us to forget everything and try and get along. I am about to have a baby and you’ll have your own family soon…wouldn’t it be nice for our kids to get along?” what she said stung like a bee. I had this huge heavy hatred that took resident in my heart and I was not even sure if it was still possible for us to get along.

Bala:” I admit that I haven’t been the best sister in the world and that I made your life a living hell and for all of that I am sorry…please forgive me for everything. Most of the things I did were out of my immaturity but now I can see my mistakes and I regret them everyday”

Me:”when did you start regretting your actions and being sorry? Because I am still waiting for you to take me to school but you chose marriage” she breathed

Me:”do you have any idea how you used to humiliate and embarrass me in front of our peers? Mom loved you and she did everything for you and you had no problem flaunting all of that in front of my face. As if that’s not enough, you would go around talking crap about me with your friends”

Bala:” I was just a child Mmbengwa”

Me:” what does that mean? Does that mean that we need to erase everything and move on? Balanganani I stayed here and looked at my classmates going to university and to college because mom said she had money because she spent it all on your studies. And then you got a job and decided to get married…that’s not even half of it…do you remember when I went to bed in an empty stomach because I didn’t wash the dishes whereas it was your turn to wash them? And that day when I took your skirt and wore it to Langanani’s birthday party and you told mom about it and I got beaten to a pulp and went to bed hungry do you remember that? When you gave me your old clothes you would go around the village publishing it to everyone and making me a laughing stock. You used to laugh at my misery. Look what I am doing today? I am getting married to the man that I hardly know because I want a better life and he seemed to like me…something that I had never experienced in my life because none of you cared” I said all of that with tears flowing in my eyes. Langanani walked through the door and looked at me and my sister and frowned

Langi:” uhm…Mmbengwa who died?” I shook my head

Me:” no one” I murmured while wiping off my tears

Langi:” then what happened? I mean the only thing capable of making you two cry will be death….at least if one was in tears but both of you?” I breathed and gave her a death stare with a frown on my face

Langi:” okay don’t say anything because with that look you’ll tell me something that will drive me to suicide” she said that and walked back outside.

Chapter 15

I can’t explain how I was feeling but even though I didn’t understand the things that I was feeling, it was as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

Bala:” I really hope that one day you’ll find it in your heart to forgive me sister” my heart melted

Me:”like you said…we are growing up so who knows” she smiled while wiping off her tears

Me:” if you want to help then you can help with salads” like a stubborn black person…I couldn’t mutter the words ‘you are forgiven’. I tried saying them but my mouth just couldn’t do it so I hoped that inviting her to help would give her the message

Bala:” thank you Mmbengwa” she said that and turned around and I walked out of the room to Langanani

Langi:” what’s going on between you and her?”

Me:” she asked me for forgiveness for everything she had done to me”

Langi:” ow”

Me:” she is also a human Langi”

Langi:” tell that to someone who didn’t have a front row seat at all the pain that you endured over the years. You can forgive her because she is your blood but she won’t get any forgiveness from me…she hurt you in a worst way possible” I smiled looking at Langi and knew in my heart that I had a true friend in my corner

After a while Thili’s family arrived. My heart settled in its place when I saw a BMW driving through the gate. I smiled to myself and say byebye poverty and all that comes with it. Langanani was so happy in such a way that you’d swear that she was the one getting married. Balanganani also seemed happy…I was stealing a glance at her every now and again and we would both just smile at each other. I was feeling like a new person and somehow it felt as though Balanganani was someone new too. My mom also seemed happy. After Thilivhali’s family had settled we brought them drinks.

After a while my mom came to me and asked me to have a word with her in private. We walked away from others and stood together

Mom:’ Mmbengwa tell me here…have you done anything?” I looked at her with obvious confusion

Me:”anything?”

Mom:” I mean the boys…are you still a virgin?” ow…how was this relevant?
Me:” I haven’t done anything with anyone and how is any of this relevant?”

Mom:” Mmbenwga I am being serious…if you lie about this then we might end up giving back the money when the truth is revealed. Just tell me the truth and nothing will happen to you and nothing will change. It’s just that if you are still a virgin then we might have an upper hand”

Me:” I am not lying” my mom smiled

Mma:”so you mean to tell me that you’ve never been with a boy?” I shook my head

Mom:” wow Mmbengwa I am proud”

Me:” really? Like you’ve ever cared about anything in my life…well, I am not proud to have you as my mother”

Mom:” Mmbengwa!”

Me:”go back and give them the report” I said that and turned and walked away. I don’t know if I expected my mother to also ask for forgiveness just because Balanganani did it.