Life as we know it
Insert 71
We spent the night in each
other’s arms at the hospital bed.
Me:” you should go to work” he
looked at me and shook his head
Me:” Eugene”
Eugene:” I can’t face the
world when I am like this…I just want to be with you, you are the only person
who understands what I am going through, its only you Andi”
Me:” ok I get it” sometimes I
tend to forget that Eugene was suffering the same fate as me and was going
through the exact same pain
Me:” I should call my office”
Eugene:” shhh lets not talk
about work, you should relax”
Me:” I am physically fine
babe, I feel fine really but as for the emotional me….well I don’t know”
Eugene:” and that’s why it’s
crucial for you to rest” the Doctor walked in at that moment
Doc: morning
Eugene: morning
Doc:” can you please excuse
us, we need to get her checked up one last time and she can go home”
Me:”thank you” I took a sigh
of relief…I was excited to be going home at least
Eugene:” ok I will be just
outside” he walked out and the Doctor did his job on me. When he was done he
gave me some tablets and said that if the bleeding don’t stop within 7 days
then I should come back for a check up
Me:” thank you” I don’t know
how I was going to cope with seeing the blood coming out of me. It was all just
a sad reminder that whatever drop of blood was coming out was what remained of
my twins…I wanted to cry again but I had to stay strong
Doc:” I will let your friends
in….and by the way, once you are done with them you are free to sign out,
you’ve been discharged, you will just have to sign the forms before leaving”
friends? Who was outside?
Me:” thanks” he walked out and
Eugene walked in with Vhusani, Lala and Tsepo…they had flowers and a teddybear.
I smiled at them shaking my head
Me:” guys you didn’t have to
bunk your offices for me” I said faking a smile, I honestly didn’t want to have
any company, I wanted to be alone and on my own…well maybe with Eugene
Lala:” anything for our
friends”
Vhusani:” how are you feeling
love?” I looked at Eugene and back at her
Me:” I am not sure how I am
feeling”
Vhusani: and Eugene?”
Eugene:” I just don’t want to
get into it”
Tsepo:” I am so sorry guys, I
really am”
Me:” thanks hey, so now can we
go home already?”
Lala:” you’ve been
discharged?”
Me:” yeah” so we spent few
minutes together talking and laughing and then I signed the papers and we drove
out. Our friends went to their jobs and Eugene and I drove to my house. I was
not in the mood for anything or anyone. All I needed was to get home and just
sleep, that’s all I needed. We got home and there was a car parked at the
driveway. It was a rented car
Me:” who is here?” I asked
Eugene as soon as we entered the gate
Eugene:” it’s a surprise, I
hope you don’t mind”
Me:”you were with me the whole
time, how did you organise this surprise? And i am not sure if i want to be
surprised Gee”
Eugene:” you slept a lot love,
all it needed was a phone call plus i know you’ll love this one” he said with a
smile and got out of the car. I got out too and he came to my side and carried
me all the way to the house
Me:” you didn’t have to you
know”
Eugene:” but I wanted to” he
was smiling looking at me. He got to the door, opened it and entered
Phumudzo: mom she is home” he
shouted...what? That was my older brother Phumudzo, the first born at home…what
the hell was he doing here? And did he say mom? So my mom was here too? Did he
also bring his wife and kids? I had so many questions
Me:” Phumu?” I said and jumped
off Eugene and ran to my brother…damn when last did I see him? I got to him and
we hugged. It was now confirmed, i love Eugene’s surprise
Me:” oww my God you are really
here” I said while he held me so tight
Phumudzo: in flesh”
Tshifhiwa:” so I don’t get a
hug?” no waaaaaayss! Not him too
Me:” oww my God” I broke the
hug with Phumudzo and quickly turned around to look at my brother Tshifhiwa. He
was my parent’s second born, damn how I missed them
Tshifhiwa:” just come here
already” I walked to him and he hugged me
Me:” wow when did you guys
arrive?”
Tshifhiwa: “we flew down this
morning…I miss you so much” he broke the hug and looked at me
Me:” I miss you too, where is
mom?”
Phumudzo:”trying to get Omphu
to sleep
Me:” wow my son is also here?”
I said running to my bedroom and I suddenly remembered that I didn’t introduce
Eugene to my brothers…I stopped on my tracks and turned to look at all of them.
Eugene was just awkwardly standing against the kitchen table with his hands
folded on his chest
Me:” owww uhm brothers…that’s
my fiancée Eugene” I said that and waved my hand at them so that they would see
the ring
Phumudzo:” mhm apparently he
is the organiser for all this, he contacted mom…well, nice meeting you bro” he
said shaking his hand
Eugene:” like wise”
Tshifhiwa:” I hope you are
treating her like a princess that she is” he said also shaking his hand. I
rolled my eyes when he said that
Me:” please Tshifhiwa I am now
27 ok? In case you need to be reminded…I can’t be called a princess anymore”
Eugene:” but it suites you
just fine” the boys all laughed together
Me:” wow ok, I see you are
getting along already” I said with a smile and turned around and walked to my
bedroom. I was hoping to find my mom there but she wasn’t. So i went to one of
the spare bedrooms and that’s where she was with my son. I stood at the door
and looked at them
Me:” is he sleeping already?”
my mom turned around and looked at me and smiled
Mom:” my baby” she quickly
walked to me and gave me a hug
Mom:” I am so sorry baby, you have
no idea how worried sick I have been…how are you feeling?” I don’t know but
having my mom around kinda made me feel emotional and I just broke down again
Mom:” its ok baby”
Me:” I lost two babies all at
once mom, two babies”
Mom:” your fiancée told us, I
am sorry that it happened to you”
Me:” it hurts so bad, I don’t
know how I am going to forget this or how I am going to move on”
Mom:” just take your time
love” we broke the hug and she wiped my tears
Me:” you have no idea what
your presence means to me…as for Phumudzo and Tshifhiwa, wow I have never been
so excited…thanks forcoming”
Mom:” I guess Eugene knows how
to make you happy, family is everything and you know your brothers, they want
to help cheer you up “
Me:”he called you? All of
you?”
Mom:” he called me using your
cell phone, and he begged me to come and when i informed your brothers, they
wanted to come…your dad and your sister are tied down at work so they couldn’t
make it” as happy as I was that Eugene got my family to come here I didn’t
understand where he got the unlocking pattern for my phone, I obviously didn’t
give it to him but he managed to go through my phone. Thank God I deleted all
my previous texts to Ria, otherwise I’d be dead right now
Me:” it was really thoughtful
of Eugene…so you haven’t seen him?”
Mom:”not yet”
Me:” ok let’s go so that you
can meet him”
I walked down with my mom so
that she could finally meet Eugene. Like my brothers she also liked him. So my
mom insisted that I sit down or sleep the whole time while she prepare some
lunch with my brothers and Eugene. My son was still sleeping and I was dying to
see him. We spent the whole day together and after my son woke up I was excited
to see him, Eugene was excited too. By the end of the day I was feeling much better,
like nothing happened. I was happy that Eugene thought of bringing my family
down. He was getting along with all of them...it was as if he was part of the
family. When it was bed time I was amazed when my mom agreed that I sleep with
Eugene in the same bedroom, I thought she was going to object but I guess i was
not a child anymore and she really loved Eugene.
My brothers decided to share a
room which had two beds at least and my mom was going to sleep with my son.
Everyone went to bed and I went to my mom to say goodnight and to ensure that
my son was fine
Me:” are you sure you are
going to be fine?” I said walking to the door
Mom:” I should be asking you
that”
Me:” having my family here
means a lot…anyway I thought you were not going to allow Eugene to spend the
night” I said with a smile
Mom:” that would be stupid of
me…I mean the fact that you are going through this situation means that you are
already in the garden, It won’t matter what I say…plus he seem like a good boy
and you are engaged”
Me:” ok mom good night” I
walked to my bedroom and found Eugene waiting for me in bed. I changed into my
pyjamas and went to him
Me:” thank you for today; I
had a beautiful afternoon with my family...i don’t know how i would have gotten
through today”
Eugene:” I am glad it went
well”
Me:” I don’t know what I had
done to deserve all this, to deserve you”
Eugene:” we deserve each
other”
Me:” oww one more thing, how
did you unlock my phone? You don’t know my pattern”
Eugene:” well I am me and I
don’t need some pattern to check your phone out” he said with a smile
Me:” Eugene!” really I needed
to know
Eugene:” sorry madam I am not
telling...unlike you, i don’t try something and not succeed” what? Was he
talking about the day i tried to unlock his phone? Maybe he just tried
different patterns until he got it right, that’s the only explanation i had
Life as we know it
Insert 72
So my mom and my brothers
spent three days in my house. I am telling you, it was the best three days I
had had in a long time. I was happy to have them around and the best part was
that I was being treated special. I never got to do anything, they did
everything for me. We’d sit in the evening and call their wives with phones on
speakers and just laugh with my nephews and nieces as well. If I am to be
honest, I only suffered the pain for the loss while I was still in hospital but
after I came back home I felt fine with my family around, all I did the whole
day was laugh and Eugene was with me at night in bed holding me until morning
so I barely had time by myself to be sad. It was good though, having my family
here really helped. I had stopped bleeding, it stopped after just two days and
I was continuing taking the meds that they gave me.
On Saturday Eugene and I drove
with my family to the airport. I was kinda sad that they were leaving, I didn’t
want them to leave but I knew they had to. My mom insisted on taking Omphu with
her, she said I was not in a good state and needed to rest, I agreed with her,
I had no idea how I was going to feel with everyone gone. Their flight was
leaving at 13:25 and by 13:00 they were boarding their flight. Eugene and I did
our final goodbyes and gave them hugs and watched them as they went to the
flight
Me:” they are really gone”
Eugene:” you gonna be fine?”
Me:” I have to” I said while
he was hugging me
Eugene:” we can always go to
Venda on weekends if you want” I looked at him and smiled
Me:” you’d do that?”
Eugene:” anything for my
woman” he kissed me and we walked hand in hand all the way to the parking. We
drove back to my house. We got there and it seemed very quiet with everyone
gone. Can you believe we even sat in the garden some afternoons with my
brothers? I felt that I missed them already.
Eugene:” you don’t mind if I
go to my house for a while do you?”
Me:” you wanna leave?”
Eugene:” I have something that
need taking care of” I looked at him with my worried look
Eugene:” love its work, you
know I haven’t been working since the incident so please, give me four hours
max”
Me:” four hours? That’s the whole
afternoon”
Eugene:” I know and I am
sorry…I promise I will be back at 18:00 ok?”
Me:” ok bring some takeways
when you come back, I will just be in bed”
Eugene:” ok I love you”
Me:” I love you too” he kissed
me and got in his car and drove away.
I was finally alone in my
house and it felt strange. I had people around the house for few days and now
being alone felt strange. I went straight to bed because I didn’t want to do
anything. I was deep in sleep when I heard the buzzer ringing. I blindly got out
of bed and dragged myself to the door and pressed the button. I yawned as I
waited for the person to come in. in my thought I was thinking that it was
Eugene but then I realised that Eugene had a key and a remote meaning that it
was someone else. The person knocked on the door and I opened. Lord have mercy!
Not him…just not him…what the hell was he doing here?
Me:” please I better be
dreaming” I said looking at him while he stood at the door
Ria:” I am not here to fight”
Me:” yeah that’s always the
case until we start fighting”
Ria:”I heard what happened?” I
opened for him and walked inside, I was reminded again about the loss
Me:” from who?”
Ria:” I ran into Vhusani and
she seemed worried and accidentally told me what happened…I am so sorry Andi”
Me:” thanks and if that’s all
I think you should leave”
Ria:” ok I will leave but just
tell me this…who was the father? Was I the father or him?” I looked at Ria and
couldn’t answer, it didn’t matter anymore though, the babies were gone. I
walked to the living room and he followed me. I felt like I was about to fall
so I sat down
Me:” please leave” I said with
one hand on my forehead
Ria:” I am sorry if I am
stressing you but I just want to know if those were my babies”
Me:” do you know that this
whole thing was your fault to begin with? You did this…you made me stress and I
couldn’t handle you fighting for the babies so the stress got too much and the
twins couldn’t handle it” I said almost in tears
Ria:” I know and I am
sorry…the truth Andi, tell me the truth and I will leave and never bother you
again…it pains me to know that you’ve lost them….i am a father and I know the
feeling so just confirm that they were mine”
Me:” you want honesty?” I
started shouting, to avoid him sending me endless smses I had to tell him the
truth
Me:” how about the ‘I don’t
know’ well I am not sure who fathered them….i slept with you and then Eugene
all at the same week so I can’t tell you when it happened….not that it matters
anymore Ria…at this moment I don’t care who was the father because I lost
them…they are never going to come back to me ok? They are gone” I said and
broke down
Eugene:” what did you say?” I
quickly got up and looked at the entrance to the living room, Eugene was
standing there with the takeaways bag
Me:” uhm…ahhhh babe?”
Eugene:” leave!” he said
pointing at the door looking at Ria
Ria:” uhm Eugene i-“
Eugene:” I said leave” he said
in a calmest voice ever…exactly what I was not expecting. Ria stumbled all the
way to the door and then walked out…Eugene stood at the door to see Ria drive
away. After he was gone Eugene closed the door and learned on it looking at me.
I couldn’t look at him…I felt naked and ashamed
Me:” I am so sorry” I said
fiddling with my hands looking at him.
He closed his eyes for a while
and then opened them and looked at me. I started crying immediately. He put the
takeaways on the floor and walked to me so fast…he didn’t say a word he took me
and pushed me against the wall and he stood behind me, he bent me forward and I
put my hands on the wall in order to balance myself…he then took off my
sleeping shorts and my undies….my mind was running wild and for few seconds
there I thought he was gonna go Christian Grey on me but nahhh I guess that’s
not his thing…I waited for him to spank me and somehow I was eager to find out
how it could be like but I didn’t get any spanking. He grabbed my ass so hard
and I winced a bit because he was rough and within seconds he thrust himself in
without a single expectation from me and it was so damn painful…he pulled out
and then in again…gosh I screamed once and he put his hand on my mouth and I
guessed it was to get me to shut up and I was so confused as to what was
happening. He kept at it for several minutes and I could feel my inside aching
in pain…I wanted him to stop but I was afraid to say anything. He banged on
me….in and out until I lost all strength, until I couldn’t utter a single word
and until I couldn’t put my hands on the wall anymore but he held me so tight
moving me back and forth….i just stood there feeling numb and I listened to him
banging on me…there was no noise from him, not as much as a groan or anything
else. After a while he let go and threw me on the floor and walked away…he
stood from the distance fixing his trousers. I couldn’t look at him, this
couldn’t have been him, he couldn’t have done this to me.
He walked to me again and
grabbed me by my neck and forced me to stand up
Eugene:” why did you do this
to me? Why did you make me think that the twins where mine when you actually
had no idea? How could you cheat on me? And with him of all the people Andi?
Why?”
Me:” i…am…sorry” I was
chocking
Eugene:” do you know what I
wanna do to you right now?” I looked at him feeling scared
Eugene:” do you?” I shook my
head
Eugene:” I want to rip your
chest open…look at your heart for few seconds before I rip it out of you and
have the outmost pleasure of watching you die….that’s what I wanna do to you
right now because you’ve just broken my heart” owww my God I swear I almost
peed on myself…the level of fear I reached at that moment was substantial. He
let go of me, turned around and walked out of my house with tears on his face.
Life as we know it
Insert 73
Eugene left Andi’s house and
drove like a maniac. His head was spinning and his heart was in deep pain. He
loved her, he really loved her and the thought of her with that ex husband of
hers flooded his mind. He couldn’t believe that she cheated on him. He had so
many questions he wanted to ask her but he knew better than to be near her when
he was like this. At least he only forced himself on her, he wanted to do more
than just forcing himself, he wanted to hurt her the same way he was hurting
and Andi being a woman, she was not strong enough to survive the things he
could put her through. He drove to his office. He wanted to do something,
anything to get his mind off what happened, to erase the vision of Andi and Ria
at it again….he parked the car at the parking lot and sat there for a while. He
wiped his face and then got out…he wore his usual face and matched inside the
building. He was burning inside…his sweet Andi, why did she do it? Was he not
good enough in bed? Was Ria better than him? How many times did they do it? And
where did it happen? He had all these questions and had no answer. If only he
had guarantee that he could control his temper he was gonna go to her and get
some answers but he was afraid of what he might do to her and unlike other
people he had killed before, Andi was the love of his life….he couldn’t live
with himself knowing what he had done to her so he knew he had to wait, he had
to cool down before seeing her again and cooling off was not going to be easy,
he had no idea how he was going to go about it.
He got to his office and was
unlocking the door when Lusani came to him
Lusani:” uhm boss thanks for
showing up…uhm there has bee-“
Eugene:” just deal with it
ok?” he opened the door and walked in, Lusani walked in too….what the hell was
Lusani still doing in the office at this time? He asked himself
Lusani:” boss you don’t
understand, it’s about the mecharnd-“
Eugene:” I said deal with it
ok? I was here just now mus, you should have told me about this”
Lusani:” there has been new
dev-“
Eugene:” f*** it Lusani why am
I paying you? Am I paying you to be a damn nuisance? If you still wanna live to
see the next day then deal with the damn problem ok? Get out of my office”
Lusani stumbled and walked out of the office and closed the door.
Eugene stood there and held
his hands on his head. He felt confused. Tears started coming out of his eyes.
He thought back to the time they lost the twins, how he was always by her side,
how he cried thinking that the babies were his, how he stood by her side
through it all….how could she lie like this? This was so cruel, did she even
love him? Did she regret being with him? He had so many questions. He paced up
and down in the office and could feel that being in the office was not going to
do him any justice, he needed something else to do, he needed to let out a
steam…he thought about calling Kat….she was afraid of him when he was like this
and obviously she’d come running if he commands her to but he didn’t want
to….he just had sex now with Andani without her consent….that was bad, he knew
it was bad but better that than what he actually wanted to do to her. He left
the office and drove with his Ranger to his other house. His business house,
the house that Andi and his sisters knew nothing about. He got there and went
to his massive garage. He looked at his cars and knew of a better way to let
out some steam…he could drive to Joburg and be more than 1000km away from her,
at least that would guarantee that he won’t hurt her.
He took the 2014 Ferrari f12
and drove all the way to Joburg. It didn’t take him long to get there, 9 hours
max is what it took him. He knew that seeing his baby sisters was going to make
him feel much better, they had that effect on him. He got there in the morning
around 6ish. He parked the car on the drive away and went inside the house. No
one was up, Tebogo was supposed to be getting ready for work and Thabeleng for
school…he went to Thaby’s room…he stood at the door and knocked
Thaby:” Tebogo just come in
already” she shouted
Eugene:” should i?” he asked
with a smile…he knew they’d make him feel better
Thaby:” Eugene?” she came
running to the door and found him standing there smiling
Eugene:” by flesh” he smiled
and hugged her
Thaby:” wow what are you doing
here? And where is Andi?” he broke the hug
Eugene:” Andi is working” he
faked a smile, he didn’t want to be reminded of her
Thaby:” and you aren’t?”
Eugene:” wow what’s with the
3rd degrees questions? I just came to check on my sisters is that a crime?”
Thaby:” not at all…it’s just
that I was not expecting you…so you’re gonna take me to school?”
Eugene:” and pick you up
again?”
Thaby:” of course yeah…you
know that’s always the deal” he shook his head smiling
Eugene:” finish up, I wanna go
check on Tebza neh?”
Thaby:” ok and ow we need to
talk”
Eugene:” please don’t tell me
you have a boyfriend” she laughed
Thaby:” and why would I tell
you that? Bro you’ll never know anything about my relationships unless I’ve
been engaged” Eugene laughed out loud
Eugene:” so what’s this
about?”
Thaby:” the latest Nike
sneaker I saw…tjooooo Eugee it’s a killa”
Eugene:” ok I have lost
interest” he said and walked to Tebogo’s room. He got there and knocked
Tebogo:” Thabeleng what is
it?”
Eugene:” can I come in?”
Tebogo: What?” she came to the
door and opened and then got out and closed the door
Eugene:” if I didn’t know any
better I’d say you have a man in there” she looked at him and rolled her eyes
Tebogo:” you didn’t say
anything about coming back and where is Andi?” the fuck was everyone asking
about Andani? He wanted to lose his cool but then he remembered that he was
here to be happy with his sisters
Eugene:” she is working and
please don’t ask why I am here…anyway who is in there?”
Tebogo:” Eugene you know I am
over 25 and I am allowed to…you know….just be myself”
Eugene:” so who is he?”
Tebogo:” you are going to
cause trouble I know”
Eugene:”wow you don’t trust
me…dude you are growing grey hair and I want you to be married and be outta my
house so no I aint gonna act funny” he said laughing, Tebogo punched him
playfully
Tebogo:” wow I am growing grey
hair huh? Anyway let me finish up you’ll meet him now now”
Eugene:” ok” he smiled and
walked to his room which reminded him of the time he was here with Andi.
MEANWHILE
After Eugene was gone it might
have taken me 30 minutes max to finally get off the floor and walked to my room.
I was horrified by what just happened; Eugene Ra….i mean forced himself on me.
I couldn’t use the R word because it made it sound so serious and like he was a
stranger. He was my fiancé and by doing what he did he took a hell lot of
strength from me….he humiliated, hurt and weakened me as a woman. Although I
was hurt and in pain, there were parts of me that felt that I deserved it, I
hurt him. I mean imagine finding out that I had slept with Rialivhuwa, that
must have killed him. I winced as I walk to the shower, I needed to get rid of
everything that’s happened. I lost my twins on Monday and come Saturday I’ve
been raped. I sat in the shower with water dripping all over me and just cried.
I felt like life itself was never my friend, it was as if the world had
something against me and that’s why I kept on getting hurt. After a long while
I got out of the shower and got dressed in some tracksuits. After what Eugene
found out and what he did to me, I was pretty sure that our relationship was
finished, it was over. And then there was Ria, that man had caused me so many
trouble in my life and I kept letting him do it again and again and again. If I
don’t put a stop to it then he wasn’t going to stop. It was about time I stop
being everyone’s play thing…especially not Ria’s. So I took my car keys and my cricket
bat that never get used…at least I was going to use it tonight, I also took a
saucepan and a knife and then I drove to his house. If my life was ruined then
I was about to ruin his and make sure that the little hoe he is probably
sleeping with dump his ass.
I got to the house and
breathed as I parked at the gate. I pressed the button…the gate immediately
opened, he must have seen my car and realised that it’s me. When I drove in he
was already standing outside with his night gown….i parked my car at the drive
way and switched it off and sat there waiting for him to walk to me.
Life as we know it
Insert 74
He walked to the car and I
held the cricket bat on my hand
Ria:” Andi? What a
surprise…uhm did something happened with Eugene? I am so sorry about the way he
found out it was never my intention” I didn’t say a word. I opened the door and
he moved back a bit so that I could get out of the car. I got out with the bat
on my hand
Ria:”I really am sorry”
Me:’ you gotta be sorry Ria”
Ria:’what?” I quickly held the
bat with both hands and beat him once…he looked at me shocked and I went at it
again five times without taking a break. He fell on the floor and I continued
hitting him. I thought about the twins he made me lose and the rape I had just
suffered. It was all his fault, had he left me alone then I wouldn’t be going
through so much emotional trauma. I cried as I was busy hitting him. I stopped
when I realised the damage I had done. He was bleeding and couldn’t even scream
anymore. I looked at him and he looked at me with his bloodied face
Me:” I lost the babies because
of you and…Eugene...R….he….he hurt me because of you” I said that and broke
down standing there
Ria:” I am sorry” he whispered
Woman: “what the hell?” a
woman said looking at us…this must be the girlfriend, she looked like she was
about my age
Me:” you must be the bitch he
is currently screwing huh?”
Woman: “what the hell did you
do to him? Babe? Love?” she said running to him
Me:” don’t even dare, if you
don’t want to look like this then just stay out of this” she looked at me and
tried to touch him and I held my bat on the air ready to smash her head. She
realised how serious I was and she moved back a bit
Me:” I am his ex wife and he
deserve this….do you even know that he wants us to get back together? That he’s
been sleeping with me? Do you?”
Woman: “no you are lying?”
Me:” maybe I am but once he
start beating you up to a pulp then you’ll realise what a jerk he is”
Ria:”Andani” he whispered
Woman: “he used to hit you?”
Me:” even when I was pregnant”
Ria:” Andani”
Me:” do you have any idea what
you’ve done to me? I should have done this when we divorced but I was trying to
be civil with you but you are abusing that. You know I have a man in my life
and you just show up as you wish” he tried sitting up and he groaned while at
it
Ria:” I am sorry”
Me:” well you will be….i want
you out of my life Ria, I want nothing to do with you….i am going to contest
the arrangement we had about our son ok? You will get nothing as in nada…you’ll
hardly see him. I tried being a better person but you’ve hurt me so bad, you
keep on hurting me”
Ria:”noooo Andani you can’t
take my son away from me”
Me:” you took my twins away,
you killed them Ria…at least Omphu is still alive you just won’t be there to
see it…try acting funny with me and I will ruin you”
Ria:” you gonna call daddy
dearest huh? That’s been your song recently” I hit him one more time
Ria:” ouch!”
Me:” maybe it’s about time I
do that….you’ll lose everything you have Ria, I want to see you surfer for the
pain you’ve caused me” he looked at me and just blinked
Ria:” you wouldn’t, you would
have done so already” I looked at him and smiled my cruel smile…I never thought
I had it in me.
I walked to my car and took
out a knife. I walked past him and past the girlfriend and went inside the
house. Damn him…the house still looked the same…my décor and my everything were
all still where I had left them. I went to the living room and stabbed the
couches tearing them up. I went to the aluminium double door fridge and drew
lines with the knife, I broke the flat screen that was mounted on the wall. He
walked in with the girlfriend right at that moment
Ria:” the fuck do you think
you are doing?” he shouted
Me:” you can come hit me if
you want and I will have the pleasure of having you arrested” I think I was
going crazy and this…seeing Ria’s face so worried and horrified was enough to
give me a little bit of joy. I drew lines on the wall as I walk back to the
kitchen
Woman: “woman are you crazy?
Do you have any idea how much damage you are causing?” I laughed out loud
Me:” woman I bought the damn
house and bought every piece of furnisher in here so yeah I know the damage”
Ria:” Andani what’s gotten
into you” he walked to me holding his stomach and for a second there I was
scared that he might hit me. But he didn’t, he took my hand and walked me
outside
Me:’ let me go Ria, let me go
or I will stab your ass”
Ria:” if you don’t leave right
now I will get you arrested
Woman: even if she leaves we
will still get her arrested or this”
Me:” if I where you I will
keep my thin meatless ass zipped ok? “ I said pointing the woman with a knife
Ria:” just leave ok please” he
was holding his stomach. He let go of my hand and I hit him again several times
with that cricket bat. He fell and I stopped
Me:” don’t ever, ever come to
my house ever again Rialivhuwa, I don’t want to see you ever” I said that and
walked back to my car and drove back home.
I got home and parked my car
at the garage. I sat there for a while thinking about what I had done to
Rialivhuwa, part of me was scared that he’d get me arrested but at this point I
didn’t really care much. I was just excited that at least I found myself in
control, I watched him cry and wince because of me. It was a great feeling,
something to smile about at the end of my miserable day. I got out of the car
and walked to the house. I wondered if Eugene was going to come back and if
so…I was honestly not looking forward to seeing him, not after what happened. I
was suddenly afraid. I looked around the house and felt alone and empty and
lonely. I was still looking around when my phone rang. It was inside my track
pants pocket and it gave me such a fright. I took it out and checked who it was…it
was my brother
Me:” Phumudzo”
Phumu:” hey little sis, I miss
you already can you believe it?” I smiled
Me:” I miss you guys too, it’s
kinda lonely down here”
Phumu:”but you have your fiancée
mus” he mean the rapist, my heart ached at the thought of that
Me:” oww yeah he’s been
working ever since you left…he didn’t get to work the whole week trying to
entertain you guys”
Phumu:” mhm ok I see, he is a
good guy though and we all like him…anyway we just wanted to hear how you are
doing? Mom is busy feeding your son and I have no idea where my little brother
is right now and dad is somewhere around the house”
Me:” you are still at mom’s?”
Phumu:” yeah I love being
mommy’s big boy you know….i am kidding I will drive to my house tomorrow
morning” he laughed
Me:” ok I see…uhm I need to
rest Phumu, do you mind?”
Phumu:” no not at all, just
take it easy ok? Everything will be fine and in no time you’ll forget it all…I
love you”
Me:” I love you too” he
dropped the call….if he could find out that I had been raped….hell would break
lose.
BACK TO EUGENE
He took Thabeleng to school
and he knew he didn’t have any plans for the day, all he wanted was to hang
around with his sisters to avoid thinking about Andani
Eugene:” you don’t mind
attending classes with me do you?” he asked when she was about to get out of
the car, she looked at him and laughed out loud
Thaby:” wow that was classic,
anyway…see you at one when you come pick me up”
Eugene:” well I am kinda
serious, I have nothing to do” she looked at him shocked
Thaby:”you are serious? But I
hang out with my friends mus”
Eugene:” well you can ask them
to distance themselves just this once….i am bored” he sulked
Thaby:” now I am scared, what
happened in Cape Town? You never run out of things to do and when you come up here
you spend your afternoons working” he rolled his eyes
Eugene:” I cant take the
interrogation, lets go to your class….i will get to judge your lecturers
today….see if my money is being utilised” they laughed as they got out of the
car. Thabeleng’s first class was at 8. They walked to class together….when she
got there her two friends where already inside…they smiled at her and she waved
at them and they gave her a “what the?” look
Thabeleng:” ok I gotta say hi
to my friends and also tell them that my brother over here wants to attend my
classes”
Eugene:” as long as you are
back here within two minutes” he sat down
So Eugene spent the day
attending classes with Thabeleng. Her friends liked him as in liked him. They
kept on looking at him smiling but the brother never paid them any attention.
When Thaby’s classes were over at 13:00, they went to lunch with Tebogo and her
boyfriend Thendo. If it was any other day he wasn’t going to agree to meet the
boyfriend but he was not in the mood for fights, all he needed was some peace
and to see his sisters happy.
So that evening they prepared
dinner together the three of them. Obviously Tebogo’s boyfriend was not joining
them. Even though he seemed to be in the good mood, Tebogo didn’t want to push
her luck. After they had eaten and watched a bit of TV, they both went to bed.
He walked to his bedroom and just didn’t want to be there, it reminded him so
much of her and with her came the betrayal. But there was also something in his
mind, apart from everything that’s happened…..he knew he missed her, there was
no arguing with that and even though he was not sure if the twins were his, he
loved them and wished they were still alive. He sat on the bed and found
himself smiling. He never thought in a million years that he’d find himself
this stressed and this broken…not because of a woman. Kat did hurt him but not
like this and at least he dealt with her, she is still paying the debt even to
this day so that was sorted. With Andani he was clueless, he had no idea how he
was going to deal with what happened…he obviously can’t do what he did to
kat…he can’t hurt her and take her freedom away like that….he didn’t feel like
it. This was all strange and new and that’s when he realised that what he felt
for her was much stronger than he had thought and it scared him to death. The
fact that she had hurt him this badly, that she had caused him this pain and
funny enough he still loved her. Someone knocked on the door…obviously it was
one of his sisters
Eugene:” come in” Tebogo
walked in…she was already in her PJs
Tebogo:” sorry to just come in
here this late”
Eugene:” anything for my baby
sister” she sat on the bed close to him
Tebogo:” Eugene I am not a
child anymore and I know you and I also know when you are not fine. You are
trying to hide it but I can see through you. It’s not like you to attend
Varsity modules…you are always working so something bad happened, something
that you are trying to forget…that’s why you are avoiding being alone right?”
he looked at her and smiled
Eugene:” Tebza I am fine
really, nothing is happening, I just missed you guys”
Tebogo:” stop it Eugene, you
know I love you right? The same way you love me and even though I might come
across as weak but I feel protective of you the same way you do for me….so
please talk to me”
Eugene:” Tebogo please”
Tebogo:” Eugene I love you as
my brother and I am worried” he got up and didn’t look at her
Eugene:” Andi was pregnant” he
said calmly
Tebogo:”what do you mean was?”
Eugene:” she lost them Tebogo,
we were going to have twins and she miscarried” he said the last part and
turned around to look at her. He couldn’t tell her the whole story, he couldn’t
tell her about the cheating, that he wasn’t even sure if the twins were his, he
didn’t want his sister to hate Andi for what she did
Tebogo:” Oww my God Eugene I
am so sorry” she walked to him and gave him a hug
Eugene:” I am beside myself
Tebogo, I’ve been trying to be strong the whole time for her, holding back my
feelings so that she’d feel better and….and…” for a second there he almost got
carried away and tell her everything that’s happened, he wanted to tell her
that she betrayed him but he couldn’t….it was hard and too painful to say
Tebogo:” shhhh I am so sorry
big bro” she said rubbing his back while they were hugging
Eugene:” I love her you know,
more than I have ever loved anyone….i love her in a way that scares me too”
Tebogo:” more than you loved
Kat?”
Eugene:” I didn’t love Kat
half as much as I love that woman and everything that happened between us just
broke me, I am a broken man and I did something that I am not even proud of….i
don’t know Tebogo” he broke the hug and wiped the tears
Tebogo:” its ok to cry
sometimes you know?” he smiled
Eugene:” I cant believe that I
am crying in your arms…I suck at being a big brother or a father figure right?”
he said standing in front of her smiling a bit
Tebogo:” not at all…I mean you
practically raised me and Thabeleng…you are our mom, our dad and our brother so
you don’t suck at all and I think you should go back to Cape Town….Andi needs
you too”
Eugene:” I know, I just needed
to see you guys….it makes me feel better….i mean you are the only two things in
my life that I haven’t ruined or jeopardise”
Tebogo:” wow so we are things
now?” they laughed
Eugene:” you know what I
mean….can I ask you a favour?”
Tebogo:” anything” he smiled
Eugene:” you gotta hear what I
wanna say before you say that” she laughed
Eugene:” can we please stay
up? we can make coffee, watch movies, bake some cake or even cook a meal or
play games or do anything….as long as we are not sleeping please….you can take
sick leave and not go to work tomorrow so that you’d sleep the whole afternoon,
just stay up with me”
Tebogo:” but Eugene you look
tired, you drove the whole night last night”
Eugene:” Tebogo if you do this
for me I can even give you my Ferrari” she looked at him shocked
Tebogo:” that bad?” he gave
her his desperate look
Eugene:” that bad” she smiled
Tebogo:” give me the keys bro,
I gotta keep the keys…you’ll have to take the flight back to Cape Town” she
smiled and took his hand and they walked to the kitchen laughing. Thabeleng
also woke up hearing the noise
Thabeleng:” is there a party
going on?”
Eugene:” come join my last
born”
Life as we know it
Insert 75
That evening I couldn’t sleep.
I tried but it was impossible. I kept on tossing and turning throughout the
night. I was scared, I kept on looking around…I thought Eugene was going to
just pitch and do something to me. I woke up early the following morning simply
because I was glad that it’s a new day. I was praying and hoping that Eugene
won’t show up, I didn’t feel like seeing him. What made me more scared was that
he had my keys so he could just walk in any minute. I woke and went to the
shower. I needed to get to work. I know I was still going through a lot but I
needed to keep busy, I needed something to do, something to keep my mind off
things. Spending the whole day at home would be torture because I’d be scared
throughout the afternoon wondering if Eugene will come or what. I also thought
of my episode at Ria’s place and felt scared, what if he get me arrested? The
way I got so carried away was a bit scary even for myself.
So I drove to work. Eugene had
informed my boss that I was sick and in hospital. When I got to work he didn’t
ask too many questions, he just asked if I was ok to work and I nodded, I
needed to work. I got an update of what took place while I was away and I
started working right away. I kept on checking my phone for a text or a missed
call but I got nothing. I guess part of me wanted to hear from Eugene. I had
mixed feelings; I was also wondering how he must have taken the news? Was it so
bad that he’d want to just walk out of my life without a word? Anyway it’s only
been less than a day since I heard from him so it was no big deal. At tea time
I bought morning after pill, even though I was starting to doubt the
effectiveness of that pill, it was worth a try. I couldn’t risk having a child
so soon after miscarriage….especially after what Eugene did to me, the child
will be a reminder of that so I didn’t want to fall pregnant. After work I
drove back to my house and I bought some takeaways on the way. I was not in the
mood to cook. I was glad that at least I didn’t get arrested meaning that Ria
didn’t open a case against me. I went straight to the shower as soon as I got
home. When I got out of the shower I checked my phone for the 1000th time. The
only call and texts I had received throughout the day were from Vhusani and mom
and my sister and that’s it. There was still nothing from Eugene. There was a
text but it was still not from him, it was from Ria instead….lord does he ever
listen? It read
“The only reason why I am not
getting you arrested is that you are the mother of my son and I have a soft
spot for you and I get why you did what you did. But don’t make a habit of it
because I might not be so understanding next time. Don’t ever do what you did
Andani” I read the sms and smiled feeling relieved, at least I wasn’t going to
get arrested…I decided to reply
“When I said I don’t want
another word from you I also meant no sms and no contact of any form so
please….let this be the last one” I sent an sms and got dressed in my PJs and
then went to the kitchen to get my takeaways. I took them to the bedroom and
ate while sitting on my bed. After eating I tried falling asleep which wasn’t
too hard, I guess it was because I was tired.
The following morning I woke
and went to work again, I still had no text or call from Eugene. I felt that
maybe we needed to talk but I didn’t have the guts to call him. He raped me and
threatened to rip my heart off to kill me so I don’t think it was my place to
contact him and if he decides to play it like this then maybe it was for the
best. Maybe he hooked up with Kat or he met someone new. It was lunch time when
I received a call from Tebogo. I didn’t know what I was going to say to her, I
also didn’t know if Eugene had told her anything…either way, I didn’t want to
talk to her. I ignored her call but she called again and again and again. When
she called for the 4th time I picked up
Me:” hello”
Tebogo:” hey love how are you
doing?” ok he obviously didn’t tell her, otherwise she’d be calling me a slut
and a heartbreaker
Me:” I’ve been good how are
you?” well it was a lie, I was far from being good
Tebogo:” you don’t have to
pretend love, Eugene told me” what? I changed my sitting position…so she knew?
Me:” ow…he…d…did?”
Tebogo:”yeah I am so sorry
that you lost the twins”
Me:” oww uhm thanks hey”
Tebogo:” Eugene is battling to
accept what happened, I’ve never seen him like this Andi….he actually cried in
front of me, he had never done that before….we spent the whole night watching
movies can you believe it? he asked us to stay up with him saying that he can’t
sleep….if my brother is like this then I can only imagine how you are” wow so
Eugene was in Joburg?
Part of me was relieved that
he’d been spending all this time with his sisters…at least he wasn’t sleeping
with Kat. Although I was glad he didn’t tell her the whole truth, I didn’t
understand why he wouldn’t. So he wasn’t sleeping and was very stressed. I
guess I was the reason for him being the way that Tebogo just explained
Me:” it’s hard and I’d prefer
not to talk about it please”
Tebogo:” I fully understand, I
just wanted you to know that I am here for you ok?”
Me:” thanks did he…you
know….maybe tell you when he will be back?” I needed to know so that I’d
prepare myself emotionally, just in case he come to my place
Tebogo:” he didn’t say, he
said you told him you needed some space”
Me:” yah I do, we all deal
with things differently and this is my way of dealing with this” I didn’t
understand why Eugene didn’t tell Tebogo the truth. There could only be one
reason….maybe he still thought we had a chance and that’s why he didn’t want
people to know what happened...could he forgive me though? Even if maybe by
some divine intervention he forgives me….will I forgive him? That was another
question.
Tebogo: “I totally understand”
Me:” thanks for calling Tebza
but I am at work and need to finish some wok ok”
Tebogo:” ok I love you, bye”
Me:” I love you too” after the
call I took a sigh of relief.
So Eugene was nowhere near
here, meaning that I had nothing to worry about regarding him coming to my
place. After knocking off I went home, I grabbed some takeaways again on my way
home….i was still not in the mood to be in the kitchen. Vhusani called me just
when I got home saying that she is coming but I told her I needed to be alone.
Although she tried to insist, I begged her not to come, I needed to be alone. I
still hadn’t told her about being raped and I don’t think I was going to tell
her. I hadn’t even tell her about sleeping with Ria so I was going to keep all
this to myself.
I did the same things I did
last night. I went to the shower and came back and ate the food while sitting
inside my blankets. After eating I fell asleep. I think it was around midnight
when I was turning and slightly open my eyes while I was still in my sleep. I
thought I saw a figure….like someone sitting close to my bed. I slightly open
my eyes and boooom someone was sitting close to my bed looking straight at me.
I jumped off the bed and screamed at the top of my lungs and fell to the floor.
He quickly ran to me and grabbed me as I was trying to get up so that I’d run
to the door
Eugene:” it’s me….Andani it’s
me, Eugene” I breathed couple of times still shaken up. He took my hand and
helped me stand up. I looked at the couch he was sitting on and realised that
he had moved the couch to move closer to my bed
Me:” you almost gave me a
heart attack” I said still shaking, I was scared
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